Cookie Cutter
by GlassSuicune
Summary: When insane people fight, insane people usually win. Give the insane people some Plot Holes, and you may have very well given them victory. Oh, and giving them the originality of every cookie created from a cookie cutter doesn't hurt, either. Zero AU.
1. No One Shall Break into Neo Arcadia!

Cookie Cutter by GlassSuicune

Note: MegaMan Zero belongs to Capcom. Anyways, this is going to be a very random story, and is my attempt to make a story that shall pass fifty chapters and beyond, as well as take years off of my lifespan ( and yours, if you decide to continue reading). Wish me luck, for I fear I may not make it out alive. Oh yeah, and there will be (usually) unfitting 'words of wisdom' at the beginning of each chapter. Also, this story is not canonically accurate, so if you care about canon, don't bother reading this.

Chapter 1: No One Shall Break into Neo Arcadia!

"If coffee breaks came every ten minutes like George Jetson claimed, the world would be in complete and total despair. Speaking of which, it's time for my coffee break."

-Sage Harpuia.

~~~~(me no wanna use line breaks to separate the quote from the story)~~~~

Copy X let out a long sigh as he walked towards the gate leading back into the tower. There was a guard standing watch, and he saluted the ruler of Neo Arcadia. "Don't bother yourself with the formalities right now," the copy of MegaMan X informed him, "I just want to know how everything is going before I return." The soldier's face brightened. "Oh, everything's been going smoothly, thanks to my keen eye!" he replied.

"Is that so?"

"Indeed Master X! No one shall break into Neo Arcadia, I guarantee it!"

Copy X then noticed not too far off, Zero, Ciel, and Elpizo sneaking into Neo Arcadia through an air vent of all things while carrying what appeared to be Bom-Ombs from the Mario series.

Completely unnoticed by the soldier.

Copy X's blue eyes were huge, but he said nothing. Instead, he looked at the soldier and told him, "Neo Arcadia thanks you and your keen eye very much. I feel very safe, knowing you're on guard. I'm sure the Humans do, too." With that, he walked inside, well aware the three crazies would have to be dealt with before whatever their scatterbrained plan was could be enacted.

"I can't handle three crazy people by myself, so I'm going to need back-up," Copy X mused, "Maybe Harpuia could help. He's the most like MegaMan X -behind me, of course. So he's more sane, naturally." He then approached the door leading to the Wind Guardian's room, hearing what sounded like a lawn mower being turned on. Then he heard Harpuia screaming out a bunch of gibberish ( Copy X swore he heard something along the lines of 'Don't eat me') while the sounds of things being destroyed could be heard. A rather sickening liquid-like sound followed afterwards.

"DANG IT! NOT AGAIN!"

Harpuia's scream was filled with both rage and excruciating pain. Copy X paled considerably, and he said, "Never mind. I take that back... Now, do I even wanna know what just happened?" He then went to open the door, before hearing Harpuia scream in pain and fear while the supposed lawn mower started up again. "Uh... No I don't." Copy X decided quickly, getting as far away from the room as possible. Whatever was going on, Harpuia could handle it. And if not, he was a Reploid. He could be rebuilt ( unless the thing truly ate him, which would be a rather disturbing incident).

Now, just so I don't have to up the rating, the lawn mower got sliced in half and oil squirted out. Harpuia was untouched. Well, he did kinda accidentally jam one of his swords into his foot, hence the screams of pain, but still...

"Well, perhaps Fefnir would be more useful..." Copy X mused, still grimacing from whatever the crazy Reploid had been doing. He then approached the door to the Flame Guardian's room, hearing metal music playing at an unholy volume. "Fefnir! It's Master X!" Copy X yelled, but his voice was drowned out by an incredibly loud guitar which was being played so crazily that Copy X decided the guitarist was either venting his or her frustrations on something, or was high on sugar.

"FEFNIR!"

Copy X took a deep breath after the outburst, but received no response from the Reploid. "Oi..." he groaned, "Well, now I know why he hardly listens to me... He's damaged his hearing royally..." Giving up on ever reaching Fefnir, Copy X then walked down the hallway. Once he was out of sight, Fefnir suddenly opened the door, wearing an Elvis wig for some reason. "That's odd..." he muttered, "I swore I heard something... Oh well." He then went back into his room and closed the door.

"Okay, maybe Leviathan..." Copy X said to himself, as he stood in front of the Ice Guardian's room. He then stopped to think for a moment. Once he had resolved whatever issue it was, he simply called out, "Leviathan, are you there?" There was silence for a moment, before the Reploid answered, "No! Go away!"

"Go away? How dare you tell ME to go away! I'm coming in there!"

"Wait! NO!"

Copy X ignored Leviathan's pleadings and barged into her room, a thing called decency having been forgotten ( boys should not barge into a girl's room like that, and vice versa. But I digress). What he saw was incredibly weird, and that just might be an understatement. Leviathan was sitting on her knees, on the floor, playing with a mixture of My Little Pony and Marvel figures. Her eyes locked with Copy X's, and she told him rather bluntly, "You see nothing, okay?" Copy X was dumb struck, but he conceded and replied, "I see nothing..."

"Good... Now please, leave?"

Copy X nodded and left the room, closing the door. Normally he wouldn't have allowed a Guardian to order him around, but he was pacified in that room. He could take a little jab to his pride just to get out of there and forget the whole thing even happened. And people often wondered why he avoided Leviathan... The girl was flat-out crazy.

"Okay Phantom, you're my last hope..." Copy X said, pretty freaked out from what went on with the previous three, "Please be sane... Please be sane..." He then reached the ninja's room and knocked on the door. "Who goes there?" Phantom asked, sounding a tad tired.

"It's Master X. Your assistance is needed."

There was the sound of someone hurrying to get themselves prepared, but otherwise it was normal. Phantom then opened the door and walked out. There was no lawn mower, no wig ( Copy X had seen it), and no My Little Pony or Marvel. Just Phantom, in all his glory. "What is it, Master X?" he asked. "Apparently Zero, Miss Ciel, and the errand boy whose name I don't care to remember, have broken into Neo Arcadia."

"You want me to eliminate them?"

"You and I will both do it. I'm not taking any chances with three crazy blonds who sneak in with Bom-Ombs."

"Bom-Ombs?"

"The Resistance is full of yahoos. Some seem more insane than others."

Nothing more was said between the two. Instead, the copy and the ninja made their way to where Zero and Company would likely be.

Namely, Copy X's throne room.

"I knew you'd be here, Mavericks!" Copy X yelled, narrowing his eyes dangerously at the three, "Now, Phantom and I will retire you!" Ciel suddenly looked confused. "What about me?" she inquired, "I'm not a Reploid, therefore I can't be retired..."

"...You will all be eliminated!"

"...That works."

Phantom pulled out a shuriken. "Time to meet your end..." he said darkly. Zero, Ciel, and Elpizo all looked at each other frantically, before screaming as one, "HELP!" Copy X and Phantom raised their eyebrows at this. "Calling for help, cowards?" Copy X mocked.

Then a giant Plot Hole opened up, and Bowser suddenly fell from it and flattened the Neo Arcadians.

"Quick! Plant the Bom-Ombs!" Zero cried. The three then frantically ran around the room, planting the Bom-Ombs in very strategic places. Then they regrouped and looked upward. "Beam us up, Scotty!" Elpizo shouted, and the three were transported back to the Resistance Base. Bowser stood up and scratched the back of his head. "Well, my work is done." he said, jumping back into the Plot Hole, so that he may return to the Mushroom Kingdom and terrorize Princess Peach and Mario.

Phantom let out a groan as he attempted to get un-flattened. Once he was back to normal, he helped Copy X get back up. They both then noticed the Bom-Ombs, which were now red and vaguely resembled a beating heart, given how rapidly they went from big to small.

"Oh dear..."

KABOOM!

Resistance: 1.

Neo Arcadia: 0.

All is right with the world.

Note: And there's the first chapter. Review please? I wanna know if this really is worth pursuing... Also, please note that this is meant to resemble a Saturday morning cartoon or the like. Each chapter is its own story... See ya next time! Whenever that is.


	2. So Many Crazies, So Little Time

Note: MegaMan Zero belongs to Capcom. I do own Cynder. I figured since this story makes zero sense, she'd fit right in. And yes, she does have quite an introduction...

Chapter 2: So Many Crazies, So Little Time.

"Yes, the super long blond hair is for real. Quit staring."

-Zero

~~~~(ah...we meet again)~~~~

Copy X looked around, finding himself in a dark room. "What's going on?" he thought aloud. He then heard someone playing on a banjo. _'Ah! There's someone here!'_ he thought to himself, following the sound, however horrible it was ( whoever was playing the banjo was tone-deaf, he decided). As soon as he got close enough to see who it was, he was promptly smacked with said banjo.

"OW!" Copy X yelped, as he fell on his behind. "You again!" the female Reploid that had hit him cried, "FAKER! I hope the REAL MegaMan X finds you and tears you..." She then stopped, wondering for a moment if the rating would be endangered by what she was about to say. Deciding to play it safe, she yelled, "I hope he pulverizes you!"

"What? I am the real MegaMan X!"

"Liar liar pants on fire!"

"They're on fire...?"

"Not yet, but that can be arranged."

Copy X took a careful look at the Reploid, ignoring her threat. Her hair was a bright orange, and had streaks of black in it. Her armour was various shades of gray and blue, meant to give an ash-like appearance. Her eyes were a fiery blue. Copy X then finally remembered who this Reploid was. Her name was Cynder, mostly because the scientist that designed her claimed she could reduce people's brains to cinders ( make them insane) if she hung out with them long enough.

Like her fellow Maverick Hunter Axl, Cynder had fallen into obscurity, though not because the canonical status of her existence was in question like the aforementioned Reploid. No, she was forgotten simply because before he went to sleep for a century, Zero erased all data on her when she was sealed away for the good of Humanity. The reason for that? He wanted to make sure no one ( including himself) would know about the insane Reploid with a banjo that shot out laser beams.

However, the few that knew of Cynder...

Well, let's just say that they were very few, because legend tells that Zero had created a Cyber-Elf that would hunt down all those who knew of her, and erase their memory.

Copy X happened to be one of the lucky few that the legend never seemed to target.

Ignoring the fact that he was in the middle of nowhere with a Reploid that could potentially drive him insane, Copy X simply asked, "Where are we?" Cynder cocked her head. "Your dream of course, Sleeping..." she started, before muttering, "...Maverick," under her breath.

"My dream? Then what the heck are you doing here?"

"You tell me. And to be honest, you aren't my dream date, either."

Copy X then noticed Cynder holding her banjo in a peculiar manner. His eyes widened when he saw the yellow light emanating from it. "No!" he cried as he backed away, "DON'T!"

Cynder unleashed a Charged Laser right at him.

"Noooooooooooooooooo!" Copy X screamed as he awoke from his nightmare. Breathing heavily, he noticed the Four Guardians staring at him blankly. "Master X..." Phantom started, but he was unable to finish, as Harpuia, Leviathan, and Fefnir started singing:

"Take me out to the asylum!

Take me to see the shrinks!

Give us our marbles and straight jackets,

And we'll pray that we never get out!

And we'll rot, rot, rot all our brains out!

And from this you will see,

That it's one, three, two strikes you're in!

At the A-SY-LUM!"

It was official, Copy X decided. The entire world was against him.

Hirondelle let out a long sigh as he vacuumed the hallway, totally bored. Suddenly, he was torn from his boredom by a rather loud shriek. "Hirondelle you imbecile!" Perroquiet snapped, "Watch where you're vacuuming! You almost sucked up that spider!" Hirondelle looked at the floor very perplexed, seeing the rather large daddy long-legs. "Perroquiet, it's just a spider..." he argued.

"Doesn't matter! It is a living thing! It deserves respect! It deserves...! NO!"

Perroquiet fell apart inside as Zero stepped on the spider, clearly not noticing it. "You... You ARE a monster!" Perroquiet cried, falling to his knees. Zero blinked stupidly, stepping back, allowing the flattened spider to be visible. "W-what did I do?" he protested, before noticing the spider, "Oh..." Hirondelle got in between both Reploids and sucked the spider up into the vacuum, saying, "I'm just gonna leave you two to work it out."

The minute Hirondelle was gone, Perroquiet screamed in rage and tackled Zero. "YOU WILL PAY!" the angry Reploid screamed. Zero let out a yelp in surprise, and struggled to get Perroquiet off him. Elpizo walked down the hallway and noticed this. "Quick!" he cried, "Someone play unfitting music!" After he had said that, the Alvin and the Chipmunks version of 'Funky Town' started playing. "...That works." he said, a little dumb struck ( which is amazing, considering).

While Elpizo tried to break up the fight, a transmission opened up. Ciel, who happened to be in the Commander room, looked up and saw Weil on the screen, smiling like a madman. The two Operators opted to simply not look at the screen. All things considered, I don't blame them.

"Hello Resistance!" Weil exclaimed, "I regret to inform you that your days are up! Today you shall be...!" Weil stopped when the sound of someone howling like a wolf could be heard. He then moved away from the screen to look behind himself, and he along with everyone else saw the smaller Omega ( or if it's easier, the Zero paint-job Omega) sitting down and howling as he stared at the moon outside. Weil's left eye twitched.

"Shut up you stupid Reploid!" Weil yelled, grabbing an incredibly tiny chair and throwing it at Omega. The Reploid let out a shriek and ran off, whimpering like a little puppy that some mean person had decided to kick. Positive that Omega had been silenced, Weil then got in front of the screen, noticing how dumb struck Ciel and a couple Reploids looked.

"Anyways, as I was saying, you shall all be eliminated!" Weil declared, "And with you pests out of the way, I shall take over Neo Arcadia, and maybe the galaxy while I'm at it!" All of a sudden, the door behind him was blasted apart, causing him to jump. "What was that?" the Human cried, turning around, only to get whammed by what appeared to be a baseball bat, which was being held by an aquatic blue person. Within mere seconds, a bunch of aquatic blue people rushed in, and one of them ended the transmission.

"Okay..." Ciel started, "That's something you don't see everyday..." The Operators both looked at each other, and their expressions clearly said the same thing:

'If this turns into a zombie invasion at some point, I am quitting.'

Finally Perroquiet had left Zero alone. However, for some reason Zero's brain didn't register that, resulting in poor Elpizo receiving quite a kick to his stomach. "Agh!" Elpizo cried in pain, clutching his stomach as he fell down to the ground. Zero looked at him in pity. "Would it help if I said I was really sorry about that?" he asked. Elpizo didn't respond, though the look in his eyes let Zero know all was forgiven. Either that, or Elpizo wanted to cut his hair in his sleep.

Cerveau and Alouette watched the scene from afar. "You know Cerveau," Alouette started, "With all these crazy people, I feel like a stranger from another world on this planet trying to adapt." Cerveau merely nodded. "Let's go back to my lab before the crazies get us." he said.

"Yes, let's."

And with that, the two were out of sight. Hirondelle walked in front of the door, having finished vacuuming. "Guys?" he inquired, "Can I hide too?"

The door was opened and the poor Reploid was pulled into the room by his slightly long hair, courtesy of Alouette.

Copy X was busy rubbing his temples, a serious migraine attacking him. Phantom was watching the whole ordeal while twitching uncomfortably. What the two were seeing was the other three Guardians swinging around the chandelier, all the while singing a very off-key version of 'London Bridge is Falling Down'. Copy X swallowed hard. Wherever the original MegaMan X was, he was probably proud of his 'children'. Harpuia, Fefnir, and Leviathan were about as insane as he was claimed to be. Which probably made Phantom the freak in the family.

Copy X's eyes darted around the room, before he became lost in thought. Maybe he could fake his death, modify his armour and other things to not look so much like MegaMan X, then flee Neo Arcadia and roam the planet aimlessly until he finally broke down and fell apart. Or maybe he could join the circus. It was certainly more appealing than having to endure those three maniacs.

Somehow, he had a feeling Phantom was thinking the same thing.

Resistance: 1.

Neo Arcadia: 0.

Dr. Weil: 0.

Aquatic Blue People: 1.

Something is seriously wrong here.

Note: And there ya have it. I hope this wasn't too crazy, but then again, the main theme IS stupidity... Also, anyone like Cynder? :P And the 'Take Me Out to the Asylum' song was something my mom taught me. I think it's obvious what song it parodies.


	3. You Can All Learn From This

Note: MegaMan Zero belongs to Capcom. The 'Oh sweet pineapples' phrase is my own creation.

Chapter 3: You Can All Learn From This.

"Can I has cookie?"

-Omega.

~~~~(you're alive!)~~~~

"Okay, these guys are the enemy!" Copy X yelled, pointing to a rather awkward picture depicting Elpizo and Ciel trying to control a water hose while it soaked poor Zero to the bone. Copy X looked at the picture and his left eye twitched in annoyance at it, but if Harpuia, Fefnir, and Leviathan could understand what he was trying to say, then the unfortunate Mechaniloid that took said picture, well, its sacrifice was not in vain.

"Now, we've received word that they will be trying to sneak in again!" Copy X shouted, "This cannot happen! Understood?" All four Guardians nodded.

"Good. Any questions?"

Harpuia raised his hand. Copy X motioned for him to ask the question. "Can we go play ping-pong now?" he promptly asked.

Copy X wanted nothing more than to slam his head repeatedly against a wall.

"Honestly, this plan sounds even crazier than the last one!" Alouette shrieked, Hirondelle having briefed her and Cerveau on the situation. "The heck it is," Hirondelle replied, "It has a very low success rate, in my humble opinion."

"Who came up with it?"

"Elpizo and Ciel came up with the original concept. Zero added the extra weight that will likely make the already weak tower collapse."

"No good can come from this..."

"It would appear so," Cerveau agreed. The three sane Reploids all shook their heads. This was going to end in disaster.

_Later..._

Copy X couldn't wrap his mind around it.

It was absolutely impossible.

But yet Zero and his friends pulled it off.

They had sneaked into Neo Arcadia by somehow cramming themselves into E-Crystal containers.

E-CRYSTAL CONTAINERS.

No matter how crazy that idea was, they pulled it off, and the Four Guardians were currently pursuing Ciel and Elpizo while Copy X was left to deal with the Crimson Menace himself. His left eye twitched as he stared Zero down, having tripped over a strategically placed banana peel.

The stare was abruptly stopped when Zero decided to ever-so-casually stick his tongue out at Copy X.

"Oh, it is ON!" Copy X yelled in rage at the insult, getting back to his feet and rushing towards Zero, ready to blast him to kingdom come. Zero gasped in mock fear, running towards a nearby ladder and climbing up it. For some reason, Copy X seemed to forget he could fly, and climbed after Zero, who had reached the top. Zero grinned mischievously, pushing the ladder back. Copy X screamed as he fell backwards and landed with a thud.

"I'm gonna retire that loser..." Copy X said in a pitiful mantra, his voice rather whiny. Zero jumped down, picked up the ladder and threw it -Copy X included. "Yeah well, good luck with that!" Zero taunted, pulling something out of his pocket. Copy X scrambled to his feet, still with the ladder confining him. "What are you doing?" he shrieked, when he saw what Zero was holding. "I don't really know..." Zero replied, throwing the Pokeball behind him.

Copy X let out a shrill scream as a Charizard came out of the Pokeball and proceeded to attack him. Zero didn't seem to notice. He was instead looking for something in his never-ending pocket, but just couldn't find it. He had pulled out a whole bunch of things, including the Master Sword, a Fire Mushroom, a Chaos Emerald, a Biometal ( don't even ask), the StarForce ( Geo Stelar probably wants it back) and a ginormous cannon. But not whatever it was, leaving Copy X at the mercy of all these items. Neither one seemed to notice the chocolate cake hanging from the ceiling.

_Meanwhile..._

Ciel and Elpizo made a sharp turn to the left, trying desperately to evade the Guardians, who were sending all sorts of attacks their way. "Wait!" Elpizo cried, pulling something out of his pocket, "I have an idea!" The item he pulled out was a horn, the type you'd see on a bicycle. He stopped and turned around to face the Guardians, blowing the horn. Harpuia, Fefnir, and Leviathan let out shrill screams in response and retreated, absolutely terrified.

Phantom, not so much...

Ciel and Elpizo looked at each other, swallowing hard. They then screamed and ran, as Phantom pursued them while throwing shurikens. "I shall eliminate you, Mavericks!" he yelled as they made a sharp turn to the right, somehow out-running him. "Now I have you where I want you!" he cried victoriously, knowing that way lead to...

"Oh sweet pineapples!" Elpizo shrieked, "It's a dead-end!" Ciel examined the situation, then pulled a bucket of black paint and a paintbrush out of nowhere. She then casually painted a large black hole on the wall. "Problem solved." she said bluntly, jumping through the hole, Elpizo following soon after. Phantom wasn't able to put on the brakes fast enough and smashed into the wall.

"Ugh..." Phantom groaned, getting back up and examining the 'hole', before grabbing his head and screaming, "How do those yahoos do it?" He then thought for a moment. Now, if Phantom were insane, a light-bulb would've appeared over his head, but he's not insane, so he just had an idea. He then ran off for a moment, returning with a protesting Leviathan. He pointed to the hole and glared at his sister rather harshly, basically telling her to jump in or else. She looked at the hole and promptly jumped in with no problem.

Phantom waited for a few minutes, fairly certain his sister would be alright. After all, when insane people fought, insane people usually won. It all boiled down to who was more insane. Suddenly, Leviathan jumped out of the dark abyss the hole had led to, absolutely terrified. Ciel and Elpizo followed soon after, both looking like they were about to have an accident. Phantom wondered what the heck had scared the three senseless, and was promptly tackled by a growling Omega ( who was still in his Zero paint-job form, by the way).

Phantom struggled to escape the crazed Reploid's grasp, but was unable._ 'So this is how it ends...'_ he thought grimly, _'At the hands of a brainless monster...'_ Weil suddenly came out of the hole, grabbing Omega by his ponytail and pulling him off Phantom. "Bad Reploid! You know better than that!" he chastised, smacking Omega senseless, making him whimper an apology. Phantom blinked, the scene before him scaring him witless. The ninja Reploid scrambled to his feet and fled the scene, while Weil continued to discipline the unruly Omega. No one noticed the chocolate cake off to the side.

_Back to Zero and Copy X..._

"Yes!" Zero cried triumphantly, "I have found it!" He held up a feather for all to see, though in this case, Copy X was the only one who would see it. "A...feather...?" Copy X questioned, not at all liking where this was most likely headed.

"Indeed! You have one weakness that shall be your downfall! AND I KNOW IT!"

"Oh sweet pineapples... Don't..."

Copy X's quiet plea went unnoticed by Zero, who instead walked menacingly to his 'victim', holding the feather like he was holding a knife. "TICKLE ATTACK!" Zero screamed, 'attacking' the blue Reploid with the feather. Copy X screamed in protest.

That scream happened to be heard by the Guardians.

"Master X is in trouble!" Harpuia cried, "What do we do?" Leviathan and Fefnir blinked. "Meh, he can handle it," Fefnir replied, "He doesn't appreciate us, anyway."

"True... Hey! Phantom's waking up!"

Immediately after Harpuia shouted that, Leviathan knocked Phantom unconscious with her weapon. "No he isn't." she said bluntly. In case anyone is wondering, Phantom had run into his siblings shortly after the scene with Omega, and they wanted revenge on him for taking their muffins away. I don't think anything more needs to be said...

Except, well, so much for the Guardians protecting their master.

Copy X screamed and laughed, trying so hard to get away from the feather, but Zero wouldn't allow him to. Neither would the ladder, which was still confining him. "Surrender and I'll consider sparing you!" Zero demanded. "Never!" Copy X snapped, still squirming, _'Oh, someone make it stop... PLEASE!'_

"Then I shall finish you now!"

Just as Zero prepared to deal the 'finishing' blow to Copy X, Ciel and Elpizo suddenly ran in screaming like toddlers. They then crashed into Zero, and the three tumbled into some random Plot Hole that appeared out of nowhere. Copy X let out a sigh of relief, for once thankful that the girl who built him and the errand boy showed up. He then managed to get himself out of the ladder, and left the room, feeling only slightly victorious. The day was over, and the Resistance's scatterbrained plan didn't exactly work out completely.

Oh but wait, there's more!

"What does this do?" Harpuia asked, pointing to a large red button labeled 'Self-Destruct'. "DON'T PRESS IT!" Phantom screamed, trying to keep his idiotic brother from pressing the button. "Press it! PRESS IT!" Zero, Ciel, and Elpizo all urged, having appeared out of nowhere. Leviathan blinked. "How'd you get here?" she questioned. "Plot Hole." Ciel replied, as if she just stated the sky was blue.

Suddenly, Fefnir came running into the room, covered in whipped cream. "YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS YOU IMBECILES!" he screamed in rage. Elpizo then pulled out a can of whipped cream and attempted to spray Fefnir with it, then realized it was empty. "Ha!" Fefnir mocked, "Now what're you gonna do?" Elpizo answered that question by whacking him upside the head with the can, making him stumble backwards and hit the self-destruct button.

KABOOM!

"Arrest that cake!" a Neo Arcadian officer yelled, pointing to a chocolate cake on a skateboard that was sliding away, as if it was trying to escape the scene of the crime ( the site of the explosion, to clarify). A bunch of officers suddenly attacked the cake, and they all disappeared in a cloud of dust usually seen in Looney Tunes or something. "That cake is a spy." Zero said bluntly, as a few officers pinned him to the ground and handcuffed him.

"Why are we still in one piece?" Phantom shrieked, in the same predicament as Zero. "Plot Hole." Ciel replied, her situation not any better. Elpizo then looked at Zero, treating the whole 'You're under arrest' deal as if was routine or something. "Wait, I thought the cake was a lie..." he muttered. Zero shook his head. "The cake is real, this time," he started, "And it was spying on us. That's why it hijacked a skateboard as an escape vehicle."

"How would a cake hijack a skateboard?" Harpuia questioned, a whole mess of handcuffs and chains on him, so that he wouldn't be able to fly away. "Plot..." Ciel started, but Phantom cut her off. "SILENCE!" he demanded, clearly ticked off. Fefnir and Leviathan were currently running away from the officers, determined to not get arrested.

"Fool!" Copy X yelled as the head officer handcuffed him, "I am the real Master X!" the officer rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah," he replied, "That's what they all say. Now, get in the car." He then shoved Copy X forward, and the Reploid grumbled at the act of incompetence. He then looked upward as he got into the police car. "MegaMan X, wherever you are, I hope you're enjoying this..." he seethed.

"As a matter of fact," Cyber-Elf X started, having appeared out of thin air, "I am. Thanks for checking." The officer quickly noticed him. "Arrest that Elf!" he yelled. Cyber-Elf X's pupils shrank as a bunch of Mechaniloids attacked him and handcuffed him ( don't ask how that's possible), before hauling him off to another police car. Copy X allowed a devious grin to creep upon his face.

Weil and Omega watched the madness from afar. Omega then looked at Weil quizzically. "Does this mean we win this round?" he asked hopefully, speaking English for the first time in this story. Weil shrugged. "I have no earthly idea..." he answered, "And I don't have an unearthly one, either."

"Oh... Well then, can I have a cookie?"

Weil resisted the urge to facepalm. Nonetheless, he pulled a box of cookies out of nowhere. Suddenly Omega started growling like a beast getting ready to pounce on its unsuspecting prey. Watching him warily, Weil slowly reached inside the box...

Omega snapped.

The Reploid growled and roared viciously, grabbed the box, and ran off with his catch. Weil let out a sigh. "I thought I fixed that glitch..." he groaned.

Resistance: 1.

Neo Arcadia. 0.

Weil: 1.

The Cake: 1.

What have we all learned from this?

Note: And there you have it... Until next time... *arrests a cake*


	4. All the Unusual Suspects

Note: MegaMan Zero belongs to Capcom. Cynder belongs to me. To all ye brave souls who are still reading this, you shall all be knighted if you continue on this journey with me after this. Also...

**This** is any song I choose to quote.

Chapter 4: All the Unusual Suspects.

"Wait, you mean people are actually afraid of the crazy errand boy that never leaves messages?"

-Elpizo

~~~~(LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!)~~~~

"It's not fair!" Harpuia whined, "I'm too young to go to prison! Wah!" Harpuia's eyes then grew teary, and he started crying. Fefnir and Leviathan joined in as well. Phantom looked at his siblings with great disdain, wondering how difficult it would be to retire all three and make it look like an accident. After giving it some considerable thought, he decided it wasn't worth it.

"Is there a reason we're all in the same cell?" Cyber-Elf X asked, rather confused, "Isn't that just begging for trouble?" He then dodged a swat courtesy of Copy X, who had a look on his face that clearly said 'I am going to destroy that Elf'. "See what I mean?" Cyber-Elf X said bluntly. Copy X then gritted his teeth, ticked off that he just proved the original MegaMan X's point.

"Well, how are we going to get out of here?" Phantom asked, finally managing to draw his attention away from his idiotic siblings. Elpizo shrugged and said, "When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout." He, along with Ciel and Zero, promptly did just that. Copy X then looked at Cyber-Elf X with disdain. "And you are on _their_ side?" he questioned. "Believe me, if there were more competent people fighting against Neo Arcadia..." Cyber-Elf X started, "...I'd be helping them instead. But these weirdos are the only people I can turn to... Besides, they've managed to pound you guys numerous times anyway, and in the end, that's all that matters."

While Copy X glared daggers at Cyber-Elf X, Leviathan suddenly stopped crying, as memories from yesterday suddenly flooded her mind.

_"Hey!" Leviathan cried as Phantom grabbed her wrist and pulled her down the hallway, "Lemme go!" Phantom didn't reply, but instead tightened his grip. He then stopped when they reached a black hole that had been painted on the wall. He pointed to the hole and glared at his sister rather harshly, basically telling her to jump in or else. She looked at the hole, embraced her insanity with open arms, and promptly jumped in with no problem._

_ "Wow..." Leviathan said in awe, "It sure is dark in here..." She then thrust her hand forward, and it made contact with something. "AGH!" Elpizo suddenly screamed in pain, "MY EYE!"_

"_Oops..."_

_ "Hey, I have a lantern with me somewhere," Ciel started, apparently digging into her pockets, judging by the shuffling sound ( and for some odd reason, the sound of stuff being broken), "Let me turn it on, and then we can beat each other up." After a few seconds, the lantern turned on, and the three noticed they were not alone. Leviathan's eyes widened and she backed off, while Ciel and Elpizo looked to see who was behind them, their pupils shrinking._

_The other occupant of the abyss was Omega, who was taking deep breaths, as if he was restraining himself._

_ Leviathan, Ciel, and Elpizo all screamed as one and ran towards the hole leading to the real world, Omega pursuing them. They jumped through the hole, ran by Phantom who had a 'What the heck?' look on his face, then the Resistance leaders and the Guardian parted ways. Ciel and Elpizo ran in the direction of where Zero most likely was, while Leviathan ran back to where her brothers were hiding after running away from the scary and loud horn._

A light-bulb suddenly appeared over Leviathan's head, and she ran to Ciel and Elpizo. "Hey you!" she cried, smacking both of them to get their attention, "Which one of you has the black paint? I have an idea!" Ciel and Elpizo looked at each other, wondering if they should trust the blue Reploid. After three whole seconds, they decided they should. "I do." Ciel replied, pulling out the bucket and the paintbrush, knowing exactly what the plan was. She then painted a large hole in the floor, and jumped right in it. Elpizo and Zero followed soon after. Zero then poked his head out of it, motioning for Leviathan, Harpuia, and Fefnir to jump in. His eyes widened and he quickly went back into the hole when they jumped in, weapons at the ready.

"Well, that was awkward..." Cyber-Elf X said bluntly, "Now, where does that leave us? Oh wait, we're sane, so that leaves us...HERE." Phantom rubbed his temples, trying to convince himself this wasn't happening, though deep down in his heart of hearts, he knew it was. Copy X suddenly glowed for a moment, then his armour appeared fiery. "I've had enough!" he yelled, "I am going to melt this stupid door even if it kills me!"

"Yeah... You do that..."

"Oh shut up inferior Reploid -er, Elf!"

"But I like aggravating you. It makes my day!"

Copy X ignored the original X and sent his Fire attacks at the door at full power, for some odd reason forgetting something very important.

That was soon realized when the flames bounced back and hit him.

"Y'know, when I was ruler of Neo Arcadia..." Cyber-Elf X started rather cockily while Copy X screamed in pain, "I made sure the prison doors were immune to all attacks from the inside of the cell..." Copy X managed to put the fire out, got back up, and glared fiercely at him. "Well, you could've told me that!" the clone yelled.

"Nah. I wanted to see you suffer for a moment."

"You little...!"

"H-hey! No need to have a temper tantrum! Where'd you get that hammer? Put it down! COPY X!"

For those who are wondering, the hammer was just lying around the cell. Copy X is not an Insane Person. And for some reason, no one noticed the cake off in the corner.

Dr. Weil walked through the ruins of the building that was blown up last chapter, Omega following him with an apologetic look on his face. Earlier that day, when he ran off with the cookies, Omega caused a ginormous accident while running across I'mnotinsured Street. Weil ended up paying for the damages, and the medical bills for the uninsured people. Needless to say, he was very angry at the Reploid who was Zero's original body. And boy did Omega know it. Which was why he was being as quiet as he possibly could.

Harpuia for one reason or another was standing near the debris after he had left the abyss, sucking on a lollipop. Weil and Omega walked up to him, and he removed the lollipop from his mouth and stared blankly. Suddenly a feeling of just plain meanness surged through Weil, and he promptly snatched the lollipop right out of the Wind Guardian's hand. "Ha! Silly Reploid..." Weil muttered, "Now I'm off to conquer Neo Arcadia!" He and Omega then walked off, leaving Harpuia dumb struck. Finally, ole Harpy realized the most important thing that just happened, and dealt with it accordingly.

"He stole my lollipop! How dare he! I'LL MAKE HIM PAY!"

Okay... Maybe I overestimated him...

Phantom and Cyber-Elf X watched as Copy X tried in vain to break down the door. He had tried every kind of attack that wouldn't bounce back ( namely, kicks, punches, and other things), but he couldn't break it down. He even tried using the hammer, but it only bounced back and hit him. Cyber-Elf X let out a sigh and wished he had popcorn, as this whole thing was so entertaining. All three then froze when the door was suddenly hit by what sounded like a laser.

A laser from Cynder's banjo.

Copy X looked horrified, while Cyber-Elf X and Phantom had 'Oh, it's you' looks on their faces as the Maverick Hunter destroyed the door. "Why are you here?" Copy X blurted out. Cynder gave him an 'Oh you...' look and replied, "Oh, I broke into a prison 'cause I felt like it! WHY DO YOU THINK I'M HERE? I'm here to get you guys out!"

"...Wait, I'm included?"

"Unfortunately, yes. I don't have the heart to leave even _you_ here. But stay on my good side, okay?"

Copy X narrowed his eyes and said nothing. Phantom and Cyber-Elf X ignored him and looked at the unlikely heroine. Grinning, Cynder then struck as cool a pose she could think of ( though it looked very cheesy), and then cried, "Let's go everyone! Onward to freedom!"

Right after she said that, Fefnir and Leviathan ran down the hallway ( by all means they should be out of the prison, but they're not for some reason), making a sharp turn to the left. The sound of stuff exploding and breaking could be heard as well as the Eight Gentle Judges screaming in rage and spewing out random sentences afterwards.

There was silence after that.

"Well, you know what they say..." Cynder started, freaked out, "With freedom comes responsibility!" She then grabbed her banjo and walked the opposite direction, the other three following. Now, I think it's obvious Fefnir and Leviathan were running in terror from something, so we gotta know what it is, right?

It was the Postman from The Legend of Zelda.

"HI!" the Postman cried gleefully, running towards the Reploids and Cyber-Elf. "Quick!" Cyber-Elf X cried, "Scatter! There's no way he can get all of us!" They then ran in different directions, and the Postman somehow managed to split into four different Postmen and pursued them, and don't ask me how that's possible. As the four ran ( or flew in Cyber-Elf X's case) in terror from the Postmen, the cake suddenly launched itself out a nearby window and into a helicopter with the words 'Pastry Warriors' on it. But nobody noticed, because the cake is too cool to be noticed.

_Meanwhile..._

Weil laughed maniacally as he prepared to overthrow Neo Arcadia with his awesome plan that is so awesome we can never know what it was. Omega was still quiet, and Weil took notice. "Why are you quiet?" he snapped, "Now's a time to rejoice! Today we shall be rid of the... WHAT IN BANANAVILLE ARE THOSE THREE DOING?"

Zero, Ciel, and Elpizo were all swinging on some cords Tarzan-style, each crying out their own 'catch-phrase':

"COWABUNGA!"

"WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!"

"STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE!"

"Okay, the errand boy officially makes no sense," Weil said bluntly, "And as for Zero and Ciel...they stopped making sense to me long ago... Omega? OMEGA! GET BACK HERE YOU COWARD!" Omega didn't respond as he ran for the hills, absolutely terrified of the Resistance leaders. Now, for no reason whatsoever, I am going to quote the George of the Jungle song! Isn't that great?

**George, George, George of the jungle!**

**Watch out for that...!**

Weil had to resist bursting out in laughter when the Disastrous Trio slammed right into a...

**...tree...**

"Ha!" Weil cried, oblivious to the fact that he was directly under the tree, and it was about to fall, "Take that fools!" As the tree began to sway, Zero suddenly screamed, "TIMBER!"

The tree promptly flattened Weil, foiling his plans once again.

"Can't that guy take a hint?" Cyber-Elf X yelled, as he flew...right back where they started from, meeting up with everyone else. "...I need to work out more..." Copy X groaned, panting as he massaged his aching joints. "Why am I running from a Postman again?" Phantom asked, then it hit him, "Oh yeah... This Postman is different..."

"Guys, I have a plan..." Cynder spoke up, "The Postman can't get us all...so he'll get me!" Cyber-Elf X looked horrified. "Cynder!" he cried, "You can't...!"

"Yes I can! It was nice knowing you all, except Copy X!"

Cynder then ran down to where the Postmen had regrouped into one Postman and pulled out her banjo. "Run guys!" she yelled, looking behind herself, "RUN LIKE THE WIND!" She then gave a strum of her banjo and jumped at the Postman while the other three fled the prison, Fefnir and Leviathan following them in terror. The Eight Gentle Judges were also running out of the prison, for no reason other than everyone else seemed to be doing it and they all figured it was for a reason. One thing was certain for everyone: None of them would ever forget Cynder, a brave and crazy Maverick Hunter.

Resistance: 2.

Neo Arcadia: 0.

Weil: 1.

Gentle Judges: 0.

The Cake: 2.

Postman: 100.

Before you ask, this doesn't make sense to me either.

Note: Yes, I admit it. I was very sugar-high when I wrote this. Also, is it me or this story getting crazier each chapter?


	5. Let's Regroup and Rethink Our Strategy

Note: MegaMan Zero belongs to Capcom. Glad you could make it.

Chapter 5: Let's Regroup and Rethink Our Strategy.

"Why are you looking at me? Was I supposed to say something?"

-Fighting Fefnir

~~~~(don't move! I dropped my brain)~~~~

Cerveau stared at the three blonds absolutely dumb struck. Zero was holding his Z-Saber like he was a dad holding his infant, Elpizo was chewing on the hilt to his rapier, and Ciel was busy pushing buttons on a nearby control panel ( which is probably why Colbor and his team were being chased by an angry Mechaniloid outside the base, but I digress).

"Zero!" Cerveau shouted, deciding to deal with all three problems, "Your Saber is an inanimate object! Stop treating it like a baby!" Zero suddenly looked very offended and held the weapon closer. "He didn't mean it... Shh..." he said, "Don't cry..."

_Crack!_

Cerveau expected to hear Elpizo cry out in pain after he heard that, but surprisingly the pink-clad Reploid was silent. Cerveau looked to see why, and saw Elpizo staring blankly at the hilt, which was now in two pieces. Afterwards, Elpizo put the two pieces in his mouth and ate them, his teeth miraculously unharmed. Cerveau's left eye twitched. "I wonder what this button does...?" Ciel inquired, pressing the big shiny blue button labeled 'Disco ball'.

Now, simply because I like explaining things I probably don't need to, a disco ball suddenly came out of the ceiling and began spinning, its pretty lights reflecting on the wall.

Zero suddenly dropped his Z-Saber and stared in awe at the lights, before pouncing on them like a cat when it sees the light of a flashlight. Elpizo and Ciel caught on and began pouncing on the lights as well. Cerveau backed away, as if the insanity was contagious. Then, after a few minutes, when the disco ball went back into the ceiling and the three crazies were somewhat coherent, he said something he was better off not saying:

"What's going to happen next? Is it going to rain cats and dogs?"

A light-bulb suddenly appeared over Elpizo's head and he pulled some strange remote out of nowhere, then pressed a shiny red button. Screaming could be heard outside and all four ran out of the room and to the 'deck' facing the desert, where Hirondelle and Alouette were standing. The two's eyes were glued on the scene before them, and the other four saw it as well.

Colbor and his team were trying to avoid getting flattened by cars which were falling from the sky, the Mechaniloid having been deactivated and forgotten.

Hirondelle grabbed his head and dug his nails into it, screaming, "What the heck did you guys do? DO I EVEN WANT TO KNOW?" Elpizo looked at the remote in shame. "I pressed the wrong button..." he said apologetically, "I meant to make it rain cats and dogs... But instead I made it hail cars... Sorry guys... My bad."

"Well, can't you fix it?" Alouette shrieked, as the Resistance Base itself was getting horribly battered by the cars slamming into it. Ciel got a light-bulb over her head and cried, "I think I have a remote that can fix this! Lemme find it..." She then dug into her pockets, as the sounds of glass breaking among other things could be heard. Zero had lost interest in the strange weather and was chasing his ponytail for no reason whatsoever ( and judging by the look on his face, he didn't realize it was attached to his head).

Cerveau, Hirondelle, and Alouette were all wondering how difficult it would to be survive in the cold, Maverick-infested, and cruel world by themselves. After awhile, they decided it was wasn't worth it, no matter how sweet freedom from these three yahoos sounded.

"Listen to me!" Phantom snapped, as he dragged his three siblings across the streets of Neo Arcadia ( which is an amazing feat in itself), "I don't care if you don't want to go, I am taking you to see the psychiatrist even if it deactivates us all!" The three all struggled against his grasp, but he was too strong. "Phantom is mean!" Leviathan promptly declared to the Humans, who were staring at the Four Guardians like they were freaks. Everyone failed to see the cake with a camera strapped to it, following the Guardians on a motorcycle and filming them...in broad daylight.

Harpuia, Leviathan, and Fefnir all suddenly froze, and for Phantom, that was a sign that something very horrible was about to happen. A screech could be heard from afar, before gaining an intense volume, letting it be known that whatever it was coming from, that thing was close. Phantom's siblings then all screamed in unison:

"NIGHT-FURY!"

Right after they had screamed that out, a black Dragon suddenly flew overhead and fired a bluish purple fire at one of the towers, blowing it up.

That tower happened to be where Copy X and the Gentle Judges were.

"THAT WAS TOTALLY WICKED!" Childre screamed, as the building around them crumbled and fell, all the Gentle Judges managing to not get hurt ( Copy X was buried under the debris somewhere). "What just happened..." Foxtar groaned, "NOT COOL!" The other Gentle Judges were busy running around screaming like little kids that some mean person decided to scare for no reason.

"Okay, just WHO is responsible for this?" Phantom snapped, before noticing three people who certainly had no business being in Neo Arcadia whatsoever ( drum-roll please). Zero and Elpizo promptly pointed to Ciel, who was holding a Plot Hole activating device. Hiccup and his Dragon Toothless were nearby, looking at their surroundings. "Toothless..." the scrawny Viking said worriedly, "I don't think we're in Berk anymore..." Toothless did the Dragon equivalent of a sigh, then flew upward into the Plot Hole, taking him and his rider back to Berk and out of Neo Arcadia.

"Ignoring that..." Phantom said bluntly, before narrowing his eyes dangerously at the three, "Why are_ you_ here?" Zero and Elpizo said nothing, clearly not sure how they ended up in Neo Arcadia. "It's my fault," Ciel answered, "I accidentally pushed a button on the wrong remote. See, Elpizo made it hail cars, and I was trying to fix that."

Phantom quietly made a mental note to never, ever, ask these three a question again.

Ciel then pressed a button on the remote, and she and her friends all sank into a Plot Hole, returning to the Resistance Base. After they left, Phantom noticed his siblings were gone, and that the Gentle Judges were all doing the Caramelldansen dance...thing, apparently fully recovered from the incident. Copy X was busy trying to get unburied.

_Meanwhile..._

Weil let out a sigh, trying to figure out how his awesome plan could've failed before it could even be enacted. "Are you depressed?" Omega asked, trying to be helpful. "I'm not depressed," Weil answered, "I'm just taking deep breaths and exhaling loudly." Omega for some reason found that a good answer and curled up into a ball like a cat, before falling asleep and purring. Weil's left eye twitched, but he shrugged it off and got back to planning world domination.

"Let's see..." Weil started, considering his options, "The Gentle Judges are far too unreliable to be of any use..."

This was evidenced by a live video feed Weil was seeing on his computer screen, which showed the Gentle Judges trying to find Copy X, before becoming distracted by the ice cream man who was driving way above the speed limit ( Heaven knows what was distracting them; the crime, or the fact that it was the ice cream man).

"I don't even know where my Ragnarok Reploids are..."

Sol Titanium stared at the faded sign which said 'Coolsville'. She and the other Reploids then saw the ruins of the city that some Scooby-Doo cartoons took place in. "We're dead..." she groaned.

"Ragnarok itself has been overrun by the Aquatic Blue People that attacked me in Chapter 2..."

In Ragnarok ( which now looked like Atlantis gone space station, or maybe it was the other way around), the Aquatic Blue People were busy blowing up random meteors with the cannon, before blowing the Death Star to smithereens.

"The Dark Elf and the Baby Elves...well, I can't afford another lawsuit from them..."

Weil then grimaced at all the papers saying the Cyber-Elves were suing him stacked near the wall.

"And then I have..."

Omega yawned and muttered something about cookies, before resuming his nap and awkward purring.

"...him..."

It was then Weil realized how much he needed to up his game.

Phantom groaned and went to help Copy X, his siblings and the Gentle Judges having left in pursuit of the ice cream man ( make of that what you will). After a few minutes, he managed to get the poor Reploid unburied. "I need to find better quality judges..." Copy X groaned, rubbing his head, "But if I have more judge-type Reploids built, they'll likely go insane on me, too... This planet has enough crazies... Oh...woe is me..."

The ice cream truck sped by after a few minutes, and Childre was the only Gentle Judge still pursuing it. Harpuia, Leviathan, and Fefnir were also still in hot pursuit of it, and Copy X could tell the poor ice cream man was going to quit once this was over, like the previous ice cream men had done. The other seven Gentle Judges would later be found causing chaos at an amusement park, but I digress.

"Phantom..." Copy X started, "Let's just get back home... I've had enough insanity for today..." Phantom only nodded, deciding trying to take his siblings to see a Reploid psychiatrist was a lost cause and should never be attempted again. The two Reploids then ran back to wherever the Neo Arcadian government officials stayed, not seeing the cake filming them while double-parked. Apparently, Childre had noticed the cake ( there was a lopsided ice cream cone on his head, giving indication to what had happened prior), and screamed, "HEY YOU! DOUBLE-PARKING IS ILLEGAL YOU FREAK!"

Okay, apparently Childre failed to notice he was yelling at a cake... And thus, I have once more overestimated someone...

"Come on Elpizo!" Zero cried, "Eat another spoonful!" The pink-clad Reploid stared at the spoonful of sugar, his left eye twitching. Finally, his willpower gave way and he downed it without a second thought. Mother Elf watched this in horror, before looking at Zero and Ciel with pure disdain, as Elpizo promptly merged with her power, before going on a sugar-induced rampage within Neo Arcadia. Zero and Ciel then pulled lawn-chairs out of nowhere, sat down, pulled some popcorn out of nowhere, and watched with interest. The amazing thing was that Elpizo managed to steer clear of Human and Reploid civilians, instead focusing on Neo Arcadia's military force and its leaders.

Poor Phantom and Copy X never saw the sugar-high Elpizo coming until it was already too late.

Resistance: 3.

Neo Arcadia: 0.

Weil: 1.

Gentle Judges: 0.

Mother Elf: 0.

The Cake: 3.

Aquatic Blue People: 2.

Hiccup and Toothless: 200.

THE PIECES ARE FALLING INTO PLACE.

Note: There's Chapter 5! Review please? ...Uh... I'll be over there...having my brain checked for any damage... Also... How to Train Your Dragon is awesome!


	6. Mustard of Puppets

Note: If I owned MegaMan Zero, nobody would die. They would just get really big ouchies. Obviously that doesn't happen, so it's obvious I don't own it. *hit with pie*

Chapter 6: Mustard of Puppets.

"I am not crazy. I swear I saw Bigfoot trying to hitch a ride on a police car!"

-Cubit Foxtar.

~~~~(WELCOME HOME KIDDIES)~~~~

"Ugh..."

It was dark. Too dark.

"AGH! MY EYES!"

Now it was bright. Too bright.

Copy X cringed as his eyes adjusted to the light. Once they did, he realized he was tied, no, CHAINED, to a chair. In front of him, from his left to his right, were Elpizo, Ciel, and Zero. All three looked like they had been possessed by some unknown and unstoppable force. He failed to notice Mother Elf hovering around, looking ready to bring destruction upon the planet. Afterwards, the currently demented blonds narrowed their eyes, like they were digging into his entire being. Then they spoke:

"Welcome..."

"Copy..."

"X..."

Copy X felt very uncomfortable after that, and finally noticed Mother Elf. Or more accurately, Dark Elf, seeing how she looks so demented right now. "In this chapter..." she said darkly, "You're going to face your worst nightmare..." Copy X stared at her. "X has a new body?" he inquired, then mentally kicked himself.

"No, but I would love to arrange that..."

"NO!"

"It'll take time for me to enact my plan... Until then, my pretties will play with you..."

At this point, Elpizo, Ciel, and Zero jumped onto the table and tackled a screaming Copy X.

"What happened here?" Fefnir asked, "It looks like Master X has been kidnapped. But that can't be possible, because Master X is too awesome for that." Harpuia and Leviathan examined the crime scene, where a sugar-high and unstoppable Elpizo had ambushed Copy X and Phantom, then ran off with Copy X, declaring to Zero and Ciel that he captured the target. "I saw it!" Harpuia cried, "He was kidnapped! We gotta save him!"

"Yeah! But we need a plan!"

"Do you have a plan?"

"Yes I do, actually!"

"What is it?"

"I dunno but it's awesome!"

"Works for me!"

Fefnir and Harpuia then ran off to save Copy X. "Wait for me!" Leviathan cried, running after them. She ran by Phantom, who was just waking up, and thwacked him with her weapon, knocking him out. She then quickly caught up with her brothers. The cake followed them...

...in a wheelbarrow. That was moving on its own.

Meanwhile, somewhere near the prison seen in Chapter 4, a familiar female Reploid with a banjo was walking away, some of her circuits showing and subsequently sparking. "That Postman..." she breathed, "He put up a terrific battle, but the power of justice prevailed!" She then struck a very cheesy pose, and some random Mechaniloid ceased to function from the sheer cheesiness. Cynder then let out a heroic shout that shall forever be remembered:

"Cheese it's good!"

Cyber-Elf X watched her with concern. "If only your brother could see you now..." he started. "You're going to bring up the past of an OC?" Omega, who had appeared literally out of nowhere, asked, voice filled with curiosity.

"I was about to, yes."

"Don't you know that if you do that, some random reader who hates OCs goes insane?"

"...If you say so..."

"That said... DO TELL!"

The Cyber-Elf stared at the Reploid, who was now sitting cross-legged, waiting to hear the tidbit. "Well, during the Maverick Wars, Cynder had a younger brother named Ash..." Cyber-Elf X started, "He called his weapon the Fiddle of Truth...it literally was a fiddle. But moving on. During the Elf Wars, Ash unfortunately lost a fight with...a very sugar-high Reploid and was never found." He wasn't about to say that the Reploid was Omega. The last thing he needed to do was encourage the little beast.

"That's so sad..."

"Yes, it is... He has certainly been missed..."

The two then noticed the Gentle Judges at a distance, and decided to follow them for the heck of it. That had led them to a street where a telephone booth was lodged firmly in the center of. The Gentle Judges were staring at it, as if it was some kind of mutant that would try to eat their nonexistent brains or something of that sort.

"I'm telling you guys," Childre started, "It's a sign that the world is coming to an end!" Schilt rolled his eyes. "And what makes you say that?" he questioned.

"I know this because there's no way a Dunkin' Donuts and a Krispy Kreme can be across the street from each other without something crazy happening! And look! The telephone booth is in between them! This...this...THIS MEANS SOMETHING!"

"Has he lost it?" Flizard asked bluntly. "Don't ask me..." Mantisk replied, "I dunno." Childre looked desperate. "I'll prove it to you!" he shrieked, running up to the telephone booth, opening its door, "See...!" He was promptly pulled into a wormhole within the telephone booth, screaming the whole way. The remaining Gentle Judges were dumb struck, then were grabbed by some unknown force and pulled in as well. The telephone booth then disappeared.

"Well..." Cyber-Elf X started, "That was new." Omega nodded, looking very freaked out. After a long silence, he promptly said, "I sensed a disruption in the Force just now."

_Meanwhile..._

Zero, Ciel, and Elpizo were vicious...things, as they simply could NOT be Human or Reploid. Copy X had come to this conclusion when they had strapped him to the wall, and forced him to endure the most inhumane torture of all.

Banjos and fiddles. With the volume set to maximum. While My Little Pony was on the TV, which was in front of Copy X. And pink unicorns were painted all over the walls. And to add insult to injury, the three were singing every Alvin and the Chipmunks song known to Humans and Reploids through all of this...and were perfectly on-key.

Being possessed by Dark Elf didn't seem to make the blond-haired disasters any smarter. If anything, it had taken their insanity and made it malicious. Absolutely malicious. There was no other way to describe it. Copy X snapped out of his inner monologue when he heard three screams.

Namely, screams from Harpuia, Fefnir, and Leviathan.

The three Guardians were currently backing away from Perroquiet, who was holding the item they were absolutely terrified of. That item? A Furbie. Because as my dad would say, Furbies are scary. I have to agree with him. They're scary. Young children are immune to the scariness, quite clearly. But moving on...

"Back..." Perroquiet said threateningly, "Or face the wrath of the horrible Furbie!" The 'wings' on Harpuia's helmet were flat against his head like ears, and he promptly screamed, "Take it away! Have mercy! PLEASE!"

"Have you ever shown _us_ mercy? Have you? HAVE YOU?"

"That's different!" Fefnir protested, as Harpuia was too paralyzed to reply, "We've never, EVER used something as horrible as a Furbie against you!" Leviathan nodded readily. "We can change!" she offered, "JUST PUT THAT THING AWAY!" The moronic Guardians failed to realize Perroquiet was backing them into a small cell which for some reason, no one knew why they had it or how they even got it. But I'm too lazy to come up with the hows and whys right now.

Eventually, the Guardians were forced into the cell, and Perroquiet smiled mischievously at this. "Now, I want you to think over every horrible thing you've done..." he said darkly, throwing the Furbie into the cell, "Have fun, kiddies!" He then closed the cell door, and locked it with a gazillion locks. Then he bolted the door in. Then placed a truck load of furniture in front of it. He then walked off in triumph, ignoring the pitiful wails coming from the Guardians.

Perroquiet stopped walking in triumph when he saw Alouette, Cerveau, and Hirondelle staring at him. Alouette was carrying bags of food and E-Crystals, Cerveau was carrying more bags as well as medical supplies, and Hirondelle was carrying various weaponry, including a machine gun. The three Reploids then ran into Cerveau's lab, closed the door, and began barricading it. Perroquiet could hear them also putting the weapons together. Perroquiet blinked, then shrugged and walked off. He failed to notice the awesome cake in the epic wheelbarrow, moving around the base and filming everything with expert precision.

...Maybe the cake really is a lie. That would explain why no one but Childre ( who is clearly a special Insane Person) could see it. Then again, he only partially saw it, which further confirms that it is, most likely, a lie as Portal has told us. Now my head hurts.

Copy X fought back the lump in his throat as the screams died down. On one hand, Harpuia and the other two probably would end up deactivated, and thus, no longer nuisances, but... If that happened...the real MegaMan X would have his power core. And he'd crush it with no mercy. Copy X knew this because Cyber-Elf X was very protective of the Reploids he called his children. He would not allow anything to hurt them, no matter what. And he'd thoroughly punish anyone who allowed them to be hurt. Plus, he blamed Copy X for everything, it seemed.

Copy X was torn from his thoughts when Dark Elf came into the room, holding a strange device. "W-what's that?" the Neo Arcadian leader asked shakily. "It's a brainwashing device!" Dark Elf declared, "It makes a Sane Person an Insane Person...permanently!"

"...You wouldn't...!"

"Of course I would! If I tried to control you, I wouldn't be able to do it forever. Besides, destroying yet another member of the endangered Sane People sounds more appealing! Also, I'm doing this for X, and for the old Zero that was once sane..."

Copy X's power core sank as the crazed Cyber-Elf approached him with the device, a creepy smile on her face. Zero, Ciel, and Elpizo watched her, not quite sure what was going on ( she had let them go, apparently, and they were dumb struck, suffice to say). Eventually, they gave up trying to figure it out, and ran out of the room, screaming something about the ice cream man. Dark Elf chose to ignore them completely, as she came closer to the unfortunate Reploid...

Now, if you think this is actually going to end as Dark Elf plans... remember, you're reading Cookie Cutter.

A telephone booth suddenly smashed through the wall, and the Gentle Judges came out of it while wearing inner tubes and riding tricycles. They noticed Copy X, grabbed him, and dragged him into the booth. It then disappeared in a flash of light. Dark Elf gritted her teeth, and muttered under her breath, "Incompetent fools... Just whose side do they think they're on anyway?" Suddenly, a devious smile came across her lips, and she flew to the cell the three crazy Guardians were in...

_Meanwhile..._

Phantom let out a groan as he regained consciousness. He rubbed his temples as he got up, while trying to remember exactly what happened. Cyber-Elf X and Omega watched from afar, knowing something was bound to happen to the poor ninja.

All of a sudden, Harpuia, Fefnir, and Leviathan fell out of a ginormous Plot Hole and squished Phantom flat, while Dark Elf could be heard laughing.

As that happened, Weil was busy staring at the Gentle Judges. After thinking long and hard, he decided he didn't want to know why they were wearing inner tubes, why they were riding tricycles, and why they were holding Copy X hostage until Neo Arcadia gave them one hundred chocolate muffins. It wasn't worth the headache.

Resistance: 4.

Neo Arcadia: Do I really need to say this?

Weil: 1.

Gentle Judges: 1.

Mother Elf: 1.

The Cake: 4.

The Incredible Furbie: 300.

This...is...NEO ARCADIA!

Note: Was this crazy enough for ya? :P On another note... Why must 'extra' punctuation marks get eaten alive? ;_; It kills the feeling I'm trying to convey when the exclamation mark after the question mark magically disappears...


	7. Beginning of the Awesome

Note: MegaMan Zero belongs to Capcom. That is all.

Chapter 7: Beginning of the Awesome.

"Hello Zero, meet Time-Out Chair. Time-Out Chair, meet Zero."

-Ciel

~~~~(insert random rock song here)~~~~

"MY SABER IS MISSING!"

Zero's scream of pure agony literally shook the base, scaring the Reploids and solitary Human occupant Ciel senseless (though I doubt Ciel has much sense anyway). Deciding their friend needed help, Ciel and Elpizo promptly ran to Zero's room, while he continued wailing whilst searching for his cherished weapon.

"Zero!" Elpizo cried, when he saw the Crimson Knight on the floor hyperventilating (an ability I never knew Reploids were programmed to have), "ZERO! SPEAK TO US!" Zero continued hyperventilating, sheer horror on his face. "M-my Saber..." he whimpered, "She's gone... I WANT MY SA-BER!" Elpizo and Ciel looked at each other worriedly, as Zero began crying. "I never should have left her alone!" he wailed, "She's probably frightened out there all by herself! WAHHH!"

Okay Zero, you're really starting to creep me out.

"Zero, listen to us..." Elpizo said calmly, "We'll find your Saber, even if we all get attacked by a Decepticon."

The minute Elpizo said that, they were swallowed up by a Plot Hole and stranded in a desert.

"Where are we?" Ciel inquired. "I dunno," Elpizo answered bluntly, "But that Decepticon looming over us looks pretty mad." Indeed it did. The three all screamed like toddlers and ran for the hills, the Decepticon following with reckless abandon. They passed by the Human settlement in Area Zero, but thankfully did not run into it. They kept running like mad.

Neige casually sucked on a lollipop while reading a book about being aware of things around you. A rather strong-looking man walked up to her, looking concerned as he stared off at the three and the Decepticon. "What...is that?" he inquired. Neige looked at the situation thoughtfully, then replied, "I dunno. Looks like some random people getting chased by a ginormous robot to me."

"...Not what I meant..."

"Well, gimme a second. I'm learning how to be aware of my surroundings. It's not as easy as they make it out to be."

"Of course, ma'am..."

The man sighed in frustration and walked away, wondering how Neige ever made it as a journalist.

_Meanwhile, in Weil's secret super-awesome super-secret epic secret hideout (did I mention secret?)..._

"O-ME-GA!"

Weil's scream was so loud, that it caused a random avalanche in a place nobody cares about...

"Avalanche!" a member of the Pokemon Nappers screamed in terror, as he and his partner promptly got buried in the snow and carried off, while two Pokemon Rangers hid behind a large rock, wondering what the blazing pineapple just happened and how it could be prevented.

Well, except maybe those guys.

"Where is that stupid Reploid?" Weil roared as he examined the mess Omega had made in his lab, "That useless piece of scrap metal...he drives me bananas!"

All of a sudden, Omega drove through the wall in a truck filled with freshly picked bananas. I kid you not.

"Where do you want me to drive them to?" Omega asked, grinning. Weil screamed in absolute rage, hysteria, and insanity, before grabbing a baseball bat and running towards Omega, who gasped and backed up, then drove off into the horizon. "YEAH THAT'S RIGHT!" Weil screamed, "DON'T YOU EVER COME BACK! I'M THROUGH WITH YOU!"

Then he heard screaming.

Zero, Ciel, and Elpizo all jumped into the broken window screaming their heads off, before disappearing into the rest of Weil's base. "...What are they doing here...?" he asked. He would soon regret that question, as a Decepticon suddenly rammed into his base, and, well...

KABOOM!

I don't think I need to say more than that.

...

Wait.

The cake was there. It was filming the entire thing, and when the Decepticon came, it ejected out of its hiding spot and used a hang-glider to get away. No one noticed, of course.

"Whoa..." Omega muttered as the debris flew everywhere. Suddenly, he saw someone approaching his vehicle. Namely, Weil. He blinked as the crazed cyborg ran to the truck with a baseball bat, then screamed like a toddler when said cyborg started bashing the truck like a madman. Thinking quickly, Omega backed up and away from Weil, and somehow fell into a Plot Hole, truck and all. Weil screamed in rage and ran off to bash something else with the baseball bat.

Which happened to be the Decepticon. Well, that problem was taken care of, at least.

After somehow managing to escape the Gentle Judges, Copy X was really starting to wish he could just run away from all his troubles. Thing was, the problems happened to be Harpuia, Fefnir, and Leviathan, and they would most certainly follow him all over kingdom come, because hey, they're loyal to a fault. Even when Copy X doesn't want them around.

And at the moment, he _really_ didn't want them around.

"It's a small world, after all..." Harpuia sang, rather off-key. "London Bridge is falling down, falling down, my fair lady!" Leviathan sang, off-key. "Jingle bells jingle bells, jingle all the way!" Fefnir sang, inventing the term off-key. Copy X struggled to spare his ears the sheer agony, but to no avail, for they broke through everything he could think of to keep them quiet.

"Master X." Phantom's voice was sweet music to Copy X's ears. "What is it, Phantom?" Copy X asked, turning to face him as the other three stopped singing to listen to their brother.

"Master X, I have some bad news..."

Copy X looked very worried, "W-what kind of bad news?"

"Zero's Saber is in our possession. You know what this means..."

Copy X looked very pale as he realized just what Phantom was implying. All of a sudden, the building was shaken by a loud boom and Phantom's siblings ran away screaming. A large cloud of smoke enveloped the area and...

"Prepare for trouble!" Ciel's voice echoed.

"And make it...triple!" Elpizo's voice soon followed.

Copy X cringed, but the two continued as they along with Zero became visible.

"To protect the world from devastation!" Ciel cried.

"To unite all peoples within our nation!" Elpizo shouted.

"To protect the goodness of truth and love!"

"To extend our reach to the stars above!"

"Ciel!"

"Elpizo!"

"Zero's the name!" Zero piped in.

"The Resistance blasts off at the speed of light!" Ciel declared.

"Surrender now or you will surely lose the fight!" Elpizo exclaimed.

"That's right!" Zero finished.

"...What the pineapple did I just hear?" Copy X asked almost immediately. "The Team Rocket motto, Resistance-style, clearly." Phantom answered, looking concerned. The three crazies then examined the visibly shaking Neo Arcadia leader and his only sane Guardian with a critical eye.

"My Saber," Zero said forcefully, "Give it back, and I will not hurt you." Copy X looked at Phantom pleadingly. "Please tell me you know where it is..." he whined, not wanting to deal with another catastrophe at their hands. Phantom nodded, and disappeared within a cloud of smoke.

"He's getting my Saber, right?"

"Yes he is. I hope."

"He better. OR ELSE!"

Phantom soon reappeared, holding Zero's Saber. "I am going to question those freaks I call my siblings and see if any of them know how this even got here." he seethed, handing the weapon to Zero, looking at him warily. He knew full well how dangerous giving a weapon to the enemy was, but in this case, he had to make an exception. Zero accepted it gratefully, holding the hilt close...

...and started _purring_.

Ladies and gentlemen, proof that Zero and Omega have much in common.

Seriously.

"Mission..." Elpizo started, then Ciel and Zero soon joined him, "ACCOMPLISHED!" With that, they ran off into the horizon, without even being outside, because they're awesome like that and are able to defy the laws of physics simply because they never studied law or physics. Feel free to quote me on that one. I'm sure it spoke to someone. Maybe.

"I'm glad that ended with little pain..." Copy X sighed, "I was worried something was going to go very wrong. But that didn't happen and for that..." he paused, "Phantom, what's that rumbling noise?"

A monster truck suddenly drove right through the wall, being piloted by none other than Harpuia, Leviathan, and Fefnir, who were fighting each other over the steering wheel. However, they stopped long enough to deliver this important message over a megaphone.

"HERE IN NEO ARCADIA WE DON'T HAVE COMPETENCE! WE HAVE MONSTER TRUCKS!"

Never woulda guessed.

Resistance: 5. A WINNER OF THIS CHAPTER IS THEM!

Neo Arcadia: A WINNER IS NOT THEM. SEARCH YOUR FEELINGS. YOU KNOW THIS TO BE TRUE.

Weil: 1. A WINNER IS NOT HIM EITHER.

Gentle Judges: 1. UM, THEY WEREN'T EVEN IN THIS EPISODE.

Mother Elf: 1. AND NEITHER WAS SHE.

The Cake: 5. THE CAKE WINS THE ENTIRE FANFIC BY DEFAULT.

The Decepticon: 400. IT MADE PRETTYFUL EXPLOSIONS.

Okay, I'll stop unleashing the incredible fury of the CAPS LOCK now.

Note: Is this still as insane as it should be?


End file.
